Sunday, July 13, 2014

In Cake Batter, There Is No Law!

Bolt Thrower are my favorite bad ass nerds. They're into kinda dorky stuff, but don't take that as a sign of weakness. If their songs are any indication, they're well-versed in battle, and will surely defeat any and all of their enemies.
They're from Coventry, England. This is the same town where Lady Godiva famously rode nude through the streets, to protest the excessive taxes put in place by her husband. Hotchie Motchie!

They've been around since 1986, and their name comes from a weapon used in the game Warhammer. It's a D&D-type game where you have armies made up of elves, dwarfs, orcs and a bunch of other geeky fantasy characters. I've never played it myself, but it seems to be quite popular.

And for the record, I'm not above geeky fantasy anything. I love Lord of the Rings and would hang out with Treebeard any day.

Bolt Thrower have yet to release a follow up to 2005's Those Once Loyal. Apparently they did write a new record, but weren't very happy with it, so they scrapped the entire thing. They released a statement explaining that they weren't going to put out an album unless they felt it was at least on par with it's predecessor. I can definitely respect that. Although I am curious to hear what they scrapped. I bet it's good, and they were just being too harsh on themselves!
However, plans to record a new record are "postponed indefinitely." I'm not that upset about this, because the records they have released are AWESOME. Their songs provide the perfect soundtrack to any all-encompassing battle. Each one is a mighty battle cry, drenched in an angry resonance that can only be described as genius.

This recipe was inspired by the song "In Battle There Is No Law!" They're Strongbow cupcakes. I'm not sure if the members of Bolt Thrower are fans of Strongbow cider (or cupcakes for that matter), but it's English and hard- just like them!

Bolt Thrower:
In Cake Batter, There Is No Law!

Makes 24

Metal Constituents:

  • 2 cups flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 1/2 cups Strongbow
For the frosting:
  • 1/2 package cream cheese (4oz), room temperature
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 2 Tablespoons Strongbow
  • 2 cups powdered sugar
For the caramel drizzle:
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 6 Tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
  • 1 Tablespoon vanilla
  • Pinch of salt

Merciless Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a cupcake tin with baking cups and set aside.
  2. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
  3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
  4. Add egg and vanilla, beat until well combined.
  5. Add flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with Strongbow. Beat until just combined.
  6. Fill each baking cup about 2/3 full with batter.
  7. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into a cupcake comes out clean.
  8. Allow to cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
  9. To make the frosting: In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until well combined.
  10. Add cinnamon and cider, and continue beating.
  11. Add powdered sugar one cup at a time, and beat until light and fluffy.
  12. Frost completely cooled cupcakes.
  13. To make the caramel drizzle: Mix all ingredients together with a whisk in a medium saucepan, over medium-low heat.
  14. Once the butter is melted, continue to whisk constantly for 5 to 7 minutes, or until the mixture thickens.
  15. Remove from heat and allow to cool for about 10 minutes, or place in the fridge for 5 minutes.
  16. Once the caramel is cooled, but still liquidy, drizzle over each frosted cake.
  17. No turning back, in cake batter there is no law!
Here's some live footage of Bolt Thrower playing "In Battle There Is No Law!" Enjoy!