Sunday, April 22, 2012

Cibophobia Cakes

There are so many different types of weird phobias out there, like Lutraphobia (fear of otters), Scabiophobia (fear of Scabies), and Pentheraphobia (Fear of Mother-in-Laws). The cover of Vio-Lence's album Eternal Nightmare, illustrates a few: Acrophobia (fear of falling), Oneirophobia (fear of nightmares) and Odontophobia (fear of Dentists).
Vio-Lence are one of the many awesome Thrash Metal bands that came out of the Bay Area in the early 1980's.
The dash in their name was first used so that it would fit on a flyer. The guys liked it so much, they decided to keep it permanently.
When I listen to Vio-Lence, I want to run around, knock things over, and not pick them back up!! They've got an energy that just can't be rivaled. Their fast guitars, and killer riffs back up intense vocals and lyrics about paranoia, and death. If you don't suffer from Metallophobia (fear of metal), I suggest you check them out.
Cibophobia is a fear of food. These Cibophobia cakes were inspired by the song "Phobophobia" (fear of phobias).

Vio-lence: Cibophobia Cakes

 Makes 30

Metal Constituents: 

  • 1½ cups all-purpose flour
  • ½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1½ cups sugar
  • 3½ ounces almond paste (half of a typical 7oz. tube)
  • 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 2 teaspoons instant espresso
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract
  • 3 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • ¾ cup sour cream
  • Slivered almonds
For the Frosting:
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract
  • 6 cups powdered sugar
  • 6 Tablespoons milk
Merciless Instructions:
  1. Pre-heat the oven to 325°. Line a cupcake tin with baking cups, and set aside.
  2. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
  3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the sugar and almond paste until well combined.
  4. Add butter and beat until smooth and creamy.
  5. Add vanilla extract, almond extract, and espresso. Beat until combined.
  6. With your mixer on low speed, drizzle in the beaten eggs, a little at a time. Beat until well combined.
  7. Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the sour cream. Beat until well combined.
  8. Fill each baking cup about 3/4 full.
  9. Bake for 20-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of one cupcake comes out clean.
  10. Allow cakes to cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
  11. Once your cakes have cooled, use a paring knife to cut a cone shape from the middle of each cupcake.
  12. Starting at the bottom of the hole, push almond slivers into the cake, around the circumference of the hole to look like teeth.
  13. Make another level of teeth a little further up in the cupcake. When you're staring down into the cupcake, it should look like the cover of Eternal Nightmare, or that thing in the dessert that ate Boba Fett.
  14. To make the frosting: In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter until fluffy.
  15. Beat in almond extract.
  16. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating until smooth and easy to spread.
  17. Frost completely cooled cupcakes and top with more "teeth"
  18. My cibophobic thoughts, will they ever go away?
Here are 40 glorious minutes of Vio-Lence playing live in 1987. They open with "Eternal Nightmare," then at 14:25, they play "Phobophobia." You might want to stow away your breakables before you start watching.

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