Slowly We Root (Beer)

America's Wang (Florida) is the land of oranges, Disney World, and old people. It's also home to the almighty Florida death metal scene, of which Obituary are fine representatives.  Their abrupt tempo changes, blast beats, and guttural growls helped to create and define the genre.  We also have Producer Scott Burns of Morrisound Studios in Tampa to thank as well.
Brothers John and Donald Tardy, along with guitarist and good friend Trevor Peres, formed Obituary in 1984. They were originally called "Executioner," then "Xecutioner," before finally going with "Obituary" on their classic 1989, debut full length, Slowly We Rot. 18 years later, to signify a rebirth, they released the appropriately titled Xecutioner's Return.
In addition to these 2 records, I also highly recommend Cause of Death and World Demise.
Obituary are unstoppable, and still going strong. They're touring right now!
Other marvelous Florida Death Metal bands include Death, Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel, and Deicide. See what I mean? An almighty scene to say the least.

To honor this kick-ass, genre-defining band, I give you:

Obituary: Slowly We Root (Beer) 

Makes 36

 

Metal Constituents:

• 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1/2 cup dark cocoa powder
• 2 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup + 2 tablespoons heavy cream
• 2 sticks unsalted butter, melted
• 3 Tablespoons Root Beer Extract
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 2/3 cup Root Beer (I recommend Virgil's)

For the frosting:

• 11 Tablespoons butter, room temperature
• 8 oz cream cheese, room temperature
• 4 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
• 3 cups powdered sugar

 

Merciless Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake tin with baking cups, and set aside.
2. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together brown sugar and eggs.
4. Add cream, butter, and root beer extract.
5. Add sour cream, and mix until well combined.
6. Add flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with Root Beer.
7. Fill baking cups about 2/3 full.
8. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of one cupcake comes out clean.
9. Allow to cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
10. To make the frosting: Beat butter and cream cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer until light and fluffy.
11. Add vanilla extract, and ice cream. Beat until combined.
12. Add powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition.
13. Frost completely cooled cupcakes. 
14. Fight them all, join me. Slowly we root (beer).

Here's some live footage of Obituary playing "Slowly We Rot." Enjoy!