Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Scumcakes of the Universe

I simply can't type enough about their brutality.
They are SEX-ellent to say the least.
Have you ever wondered where they came from?
The following should answer as many questions as it raises:

Eons ago, there existed an elite group of chaos warriors who ravaged the galaxy with a boundless hatred of all things alive. They were called the Scumdogs of the Universe, and they grew in might and fury, the greatest weapon in the arsenal of their cosmic Master.

But they became too powerful, and too defiant. As punishment for their cosmic crimes, they were banished to the most insignificant planet in the universe...the seething mudball known as Earth.

Millions of years passed, and they slumbered, until the pollution of your world de-thawed these creatures from their ageless coma...and now they stride the Earth, living gods, dedicated to one goal, the destruction of the human race, and the eradication of existence itself! Wait- that’s two goals!

Hark to the hideous majesty of your MASTERS, rulers of Earth, the MIGHTY GWAR!!!

Consider these cupcakes a tribute to these metal Gods:

GWAR: Scumcakes of the Universe

Metal Constituents:
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1 cup Green M&Ms
For the Chocolate Frosting:
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1/4 cup shortening
  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 2 tablespoons milk
  • 1 cup hot fudge topping
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Merciless Instructions:
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 12-cup standard muffin tin with paper liners.
  2. Into a medium bowl, sift together cocoa, flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
  3. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
  4. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each, then beat in vanilla.
  5. With mixer on low speed, add flour mixture in two batches, alternating with sour cream and beginning and ending with flour.
  6. Stir in green M&Ms
  7. Pour batter into cups, filling each 3/4 full. Bake until a toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes.
  8. Cool in pan 5 minutes; transfer to a wire rack to cool completely
  9. To make the frosting: In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the butter and shortening together.
  10. Sift the cocoa with the confectioners' sugar and add to the creamed mixture.
  11. Add the milk.
  12. Add the hot fudge topping and the vanilla extract. Blend until smooth and creamy.
  13. Pipe frosting onto completely cooled cakes. I also sprayed mine with Betty Crocker green aerosol food coloring to accentuate the scum factor.
  14. Enjoy your Scumcake, human filth.
Here is some footage of GWAR playing "Sick of You." Enjoy!


Luka UK said...


Porkloins said...

Thanks Luka UK!
I can't wait for your new album!

Ms. Sassafras said...

Excellent use of the aerosol food coloring. I have some lined up that I can't wait to use!

I <3 metalcakes!

Scalene Pumpkins said...

I made these! They were delicious.

I love that you have a photo of Satanic Warmaster behind every cupcake photo you take. Maybe a Satanic Warmaster inspired cupcake should be next on your list! I'd love to see that.

Great blog, wonderful recipes.