Friday, December 18, 2009

Edible Autopsy Cakes

Nothing brings people closer together than Cannibal Corpse.
Alex Webster (bass) came up with the name for the band, and defines a Cannibal Corpse as "an undead corpse that's going to eat you."
Their horror heavy lyrics have stirred up some controversy over the years. In 1995, Bob Dole accused Cannibal Corpse, along with 2 Live Crew, of "undermining the national character of the United States."
Puh-lease!! At least they don't constantly refer to themselves in the 3rd person.
Some of Cannibal Corpse's more controversial song titles include "Meat Hook Sodomy," "I Cum Blood," "Necropedophile," and "Fucked With A Knife."
George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher (vocals) says that in their songs "there’s nothing ever serious. We’re not thinking of anybody in particular that we’re trying to kill, or harm or anything...How can you say we’re promoting violence with imaginary creatures? The people doing the killing in our songs are zombies."

So this Holiday season, let's all forget our troubles, put aside our differences, and unite around a tasty batch of these (it's what baby Jesus would want):

Cannibal Corpse:
Edible Autopsy Cakes

Metal Constituents:

  • 6 cups finely diced mixed dried fruit, such as dried apples, pears, apricots, cherries, cranberries, raisins, golden raisins, etc.
  • 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts
  • 1 1/4 cups brandy
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
  • 3 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon cardamom
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1/2 cup apricot jam, warmed
Merciless Instructions:
  1. In a large bowl, combine dried fruit, walnuts, and brandy.
  2. Cover with plastic wrap and let stand 8 hours, or up to 1 day, stirring occasionally
  3. Preheat oven to 300 degrees, and line a cupcake tin with baking cups, set aside
  4. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy
  5. Beat in eggs
  6. In another bowl, whisk together flour, salt and spices
  7. Reduce mixer speed to low and beat in flour mixture in 2 additions
  8. Fold fruit mixture into batter
  9. Fill each baking cup almost to the top with batter (these cakes don't rise very much at all), and tap pan on counter to settle batter
  10. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a cake comes out clean
  11. Transfer cakes to a wire rack to cool completely
  12. Once cakes have completely cooled, brush them with apricot jam
  13. Grab your rusty blade, and rip through fruit and cake.
Here is some footage of "Edible Autopsy" from the DVD Cannibal Corpse Eats Moscow Alive.
Happy Holidays from Metalcakes!


E.Bleak said...

These are the best ones yet! They look both decomposing and delicious at the same time. :3

Whenever I think about Bob Dole and Cannibal Corpse, all I can hear is his habit of referring to himself in the third person: "Bob Dole thinks heavy metal is offensive to Bob Dole's ears."

Porkloins said...

That's Hilarious!
Stupid Bob Dole.