Sunday, July 17, 2011

Cakes of Broken Glass

Hey Metalheads! If you're looking for a refreshing change to wake up your ears, look no further than Hammers of Misfortune.
Born from one of the most Metal-Nurturing areas of our country, they're pretty heavy while maintaining a vein of NWOBHM running through each song. They're not really like anybody else as far as lyrics and composition are concerned. I feel like they don't exactly angry up the blood and spark a revolution, so much as take your mind off the shitty day you just had.
John Cobbett's unique brand of metal is achieved by writing an acoustic song with vocals, and then translating it into metal. His mission is to save us all from mediocre, and "safe" music.
In an interview one time, he referred to Britney Spears as "Jon Benet Ramsey without the murder." That is so true.
They're currently working on a new album that will hopefully be released by the end of the year. Can't wait!
This recipe was inspired by the title track off their 2008 album "Church of Broken Glass."
There is a lot of Bourbon in these cakes. It will make eating glass seem like a great idea!

Hammers of Misfortune: Cakes of Broken Glass

Makes 36

Metal Constituents:
  • 5oz high-quality, unsweetened dark chocolate
  • 1/4 cup instant espresso
  • 2 Tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 cup good Bourbon Whiskey (Maker's Mark or Bulliet)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks butter, room temperature
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
For the Frosting:
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 3 cups powdered sugar
  • 1/4 cup good Bourbon Whiskey (Maker's Mark or Bulliet)
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • Orange (or red and yellow) food coloring
For the Broken "Glass" Topping:
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 3/4 cup water
Merciless Instructions:
  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line a cupcake tin with baking cups, and set aside.
  2. Melt baking chocolate in the microwave. Start by microwaving it for 30 seconds, stir, and then continue to microwave at 15 second intervals until melted and smooth.
  3. Set melted chocolate aside to cool.
  4. Put instant espresso and cocoa powder into a (2-cup or larger) glass measuring cup.
  5. Add enough boiling water to come up to the 1 cup measuring line.
  6. Stir until powders dissolve.
  7. Stir in whiskey and salt, allow to cool.
  8. Beat butter in the bowl of an electric mixer until fluffy (about 2-3 minutes).
  9. Add sugar and beat until well combined.
  10. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
  11. Add vanilla, baking soda, and melted chocolate, beat well.
  12. With the mixer on the lowest speed, add 1/3 of the whiskey mixture.
  13. Once the liquid has been absorbed, add 1 cup of the flour.
  14. Repeat whiskey and flour addition, ending with whiskey.
  15. Fill baking cups about 3/4 full.
  16. Bake for 20-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into one of the cupcakes comes out clean.
  17. Allow cakes to cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing them to a wire rack to cool completely.
  18. To make the frosting: Beat butter in the bowl of an electric mixer until smooth.
  19. Add powdered sugar, Bourbon, and vanilla extract. Beat until creamy.
  20. Add enough food coloring to your frosting, so that it matches the shade of the album cover.
  21. Frost completely cooled cupcakes.
  22. To make the broken "glass": Line a baking sheet with a Silpat non-stick baking mat, or parchment paper.
  23. In a small saucepan, bring sugar and water to a boil, stirring constantly until the sugar is dissolved.
  24. Once the sugar has dissolved (it will look clear) stop stirring and allow to boil.
  25. Occasionally brush down the sides of the saucepan with a pastry brush dipped in cold water, to prevent crystals from forming.
  26. Boil at medium-high heat until mixture is slightly golden, around the edges or until a candy thermometer reads about 200-205 degrees. Make sure you don't jump the gun and pull your sugar off the heat while it's still clear. If you don't wait until it's slightly golden, it won't harden into crackable candy.
  27. Pour melted sugar mixture onto prepared baking sheet.
  28. Smooth sugar into one flat sheet using an off-set spatula, the thinner the better.
  29. Let it cool and harden for 5-10 minutes.
  30. Once the mixture is hard, pull it away from the Silpat mat or parchment paper, and crack into decent-sized "glass" shards.
  31. Place quite a few shards into the frosting of each cupcake.
  32. Don't think you have a prayer, with this cake of broken glass.
And here's Hammers of Misfortune playing "An Oath Sworn in Hell" off their 2001 album The Bastard. Enjoy!

1 comment:

phyte club katie said...

Espresso, whiskey, cream cheese, and orange food coloring? Plus 31 instructions? And Hammers of Misfortune, too? I'm in heavy heaven. Hammers is a band I can never quite categorize and I love that. I always immediately come to the "Classical metal" label automatically -- that's what feels right, so I just go with it. Somewhat complicated and beautiful, very passionate. But I suppose that's most good metal, right?