Sunday, December 9, 2012

No Cupcakes for Christmas + GIVEAWAY!!!

Anybody who knows me, even a little bit, knows I love King Diamond. He's just so great! Besides being a founding member of the infinitely influental band Mercyful Fate, then continuing to break new ground with his amazing solo career, he's just a really awesome person.
He's insanely brilliant, a completely gifted artist, and very polite. I don't think I've ever read or seen an interview with him where he was anything less than gracious. And his last album was entitled Give Me Your Soul... PLEASE.  He is truly a King amongst Metalheads.
Also: best make-up in the biz!

After Mercyful Fate broke up due to creative differences, King Diamond took a few members of the band with him, and launched his solo career. He released his first single on December 25, 1985. It was entitled "No Presents For Christmas," and it remains a classic to this day. 
In case you haven't heard, this single was just re-released by Roadrunner after 27 years! Because I love King Diamond almost as much as you, my darling readers, I'm giving away one reissued vinyl picture disc of King Diamond's "No Presents For Christmas." 
Yes, it's true!

All you have to do to enter this giveaway is:
  • Leave a comment in the comments section below telling me what your favorite thing about King Diamond is.
  • I will then print out all the comments, and literally draw one out of a hat to select the winner. 
  • Everyone is eligible to enter (meaning I have no problem shipping internationally), but you are only allowed to enter once.
  • The deadline to enter is Noon (Chicago time) on Tuesday, December 25th, 2012. That way if Satan Claws fails you that morning, you'll still have time to enter the giveaway.
  • I will announce the winner here, shortly after the deadline.
  • Good luck! 

And the winner is:

(the sound cuts out briefly in the middle, and I'm a total dork)

Jeff Williams!
Congratulations! Thanks again to everyone who entered, and to everyone who has ever read Metalcakes or tried a recipe! I'd be nothing without you.

Long live the King.

King Diamond:
No Cupcakes For Christmas

Makes 12

Metal Constituents:

For the pie crusts:
  • 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 4 1/2 teaspoons sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
  • 1 large egg yolk, lightly beaten
  • 2 tablespoons ice water
For the pie filling:
  • 3 1/4 cups fresh cranberries (12 ounces)
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups water
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons blood orange zest
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • Pinch of ground cloves
  • 3 tablespoons cornstarch
  • 1/4 cup blood orange juice
For the whipped cream:
  • 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
  • 2 1/2 Tablespoons powdered sugar
  • 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
*If you're lazy, you can substitute frozen pie crust and whipped cream from a can. But c'mon... live a little!

Merciless Instructions: 

  1. Make the pie dough first: Pulse flour, sugar, and salt in a food processor to combine.
  2. Add butter and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal, about 10 seconds.
  3. Add egg yolk, and pulse a few times again.
  4. With machine running, add ice water in a slow, steady stream
  5. Process until dough just holds together, no longer than 30 seconds.
  6. Remove dough and shape into a disk.
  7. Wrap dough in plastic, and refrigerate at least 1 hour or up to 2 days.
  8. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  9. On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to 1/8 inch thick.
  10. Cut out 12,  4 1/8-inch wide rounds (I used a large, wide-mouth coffee mug that was just about the right size and worked great), and fit into the cups of a standard 12-cup, cupcake tin. 
  11. Flute the edges of the crust using a fork or your fingers.
  12. Pierce bottoms with a fork about 3 times.
  13. Freeze 15 minutes.
  14. Line each shell with parchment paper, and fill with pie weights or dried beans to prevent the bottoms from puffing up during baking.
  15. Bake 15 minutes.
  16. Remove weights and parchment, and bake again for 5 minutes or until bottoms are just turning golden,
  17. Allow to cool in the pan for 5 minutes before removing pie crusts to a wire rack to cool completely.
  18. To make the pie filling: Bring 2 cups cranberries, 1 cup sugar, and 1 1/2 cups water to a boil in a medium saucepan.
  19. Reduce heat, and simmer mixture, stirring occasionally, until cranberries have burst, about 5 minutes.
  20. Pour through a fine sieve and discard solids. You should have about 1 3/4 cups. If you have less, add water.
  21. Bring strained cranberry juice, 1/4 cup sugar, zest, salt, cinnamon, cloves, and remaining 1 1/4 cups cranberries to a boil in a medium saucepan, stirring occasionally.
  22. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, until cranberries are soft but have not burst, about 3 minutes.
  23. Strain mixture again, and return to the pot.
  24. In a small bowl, whisk together cornstarch, blood orange juice, and 1/4 cup water.
  25. Whisk blood orange juice mixture into cranberry mixture.
  26. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
  27. Cook, stirring, until translucent and kinda gelatinous, about 1 minute.
  28. Pour into completely cooled, prepared shells.
  29. Refrigerate until set, about 1 hour, or as long as overnight.
  30. To make the whipped cream topping: Chill your mixing bowl and whisk attachment in the fridge for 20 minutes before using- 5 minutes in the freezer if you're pressed for time.
  31. Pour the cream into the cold mixing bowl, and whisk on medium-high speed until it starts to thicken.
  32. Slow the mixer to medium speed, and gradually add powdered sugar.
  33. Continue to whisk until soft peaks form.
  34. Add vanilla, and whisk until stiff peaks form.
  35. Pipe whipped cream onto each mini pie.
  36. There's no cupcakes, not this Christmas!
Here's some live footage of King Diamond playing "No Presents For Christmas." 

Happy Holidays from Metalcakes!


Inarguable Magazine said...

My favorite thing?



Pencil said...

Besides his amazing falsetto and awesome sense of imagery, he recently had a miraculous recovery from heart surgery, from which he walked himself to the recovery room, a first in the history of that particular hospital.

:: smo :: said...

It's hard to pick a favorite thing about this dude! I remember the first thing I saw of his was him doing this like explanation of his puppet master story sitting at this table with tons of candles on it. I was like man this dude's ridiculous! Then I started listening a bit and was like oh hehe he sings really high pitched sometimes...and then it just hit me how amazing he is! I love how he does his alternating voices for different characters, like in the bell witch. I'm not a big lyrics guy usually but I get king diamond in my head all the time! After my friend told me her Doug's name I could never see the dog without shrieking ABAGAAAAILLLLLL!!!! I'm not exactly sure if she knew what the hell I was doing but I don't really care haha. Oh! Also I bought a copy of no presents for Christmas on eBay for my first Christmas white elephant party at titmouse, I thought "hey these guys make metalocalypse I'm sure they'll fight over this!" But at that point they made metal in la andddd no one really knew what the fuck the record was...EXCEPT "Jackson publick" creature of venture brothers who opened the record and was wicked stoked on it! Chris P the studio owner told me that his first ever show was Mercyful fate, and that he and his buddy snuck out and stole his friend's dad's car to go to the show! Brutal! Ha oh and i JUST named our new router king diamond (it's model name was asus black diamond router) Now I'm rambling but this is awesome and king diamond is awesome and metalcakes is awesome!!!

iSapien 1956672 said...

It sounds like he says "she wants a pizza from my cupboard" in black funeral, and he had a picture in an issue of Power Metal from 1989 where he's laying in a pile of human bones, which I had taped on my bedroom wall.

scribbles and shits said...

He was sued by Gene Simmons over makeup

Colleen Cuchetto said...

What kind of hat? I wouldn't feel right about joining in a contest for King Diamond if the hat were inappropriate. Hoping for one like the pope has or Hello Kitty.

Jon Christopher said...

Kim Bendix Petersen. "nuff said!

Online Store said...

Everything is cool about him, but just to pile it on, he sang on that David Grohl Probot song as well!

xoRachel McPadden said...

ABIGAIL because she & my father have the same birthday-- 7/7

tuffcakes said...

aside from his amazing voice and make-up, my favorite thing would have to be that he used a human skull on stage in the 80s. so brutal!

ozzyrulz777 said...

My favorite thing about King Diamond is that he acknowledges that he was influenced hugely by Alice Cooper. Also that he is King fucking Diamond.

Carm said...

I saw King Diamond at the House of Blues in 2005! Best thing about him is that he takes good care of his voice, most especially at his age. Best part is that he recently beat heart disease. How evil is that?

Kelsey M said...

My favorite thing about King Diamond is how his records are concept albums with fully developed characters and stories. They're like crazy awesome heavy metal operas.

I. Shall Borethee said...

What else is there other than the talent?
The fact that I am 36 years old and he still draws ire from my mother.

Jeffwms2439 said...

What's my favorite thing about the King? Melissa. The first King Diamond I ever fell in love with was The House of God. A friend of mine should it to me for the first time and I fell in love almost instantly. Since that time my appreciation for the King has only grown and grown. Now some of the old Mercyful Fate albums are some of my favorites of all time. It's impossible for me to listen to any of the man's records without a giant fucking smile on my face and a fist firmly in air. He's amazing. Also being a fairly new fan to the sport of NASCAR it should be noted that the King is a huge NASCAR fan and is known to attend many races. Makes me feel like less of a loser knowing someone as awesome as the King likes watching dudes turn left for hours at a time. Respect

Deathblow said...

Aside from the ballsiest vocal delivery on the planet, my favorite thing about the King is an anecdote I have to share: Years ago when I lived in LA, I was in the company of Stanton Lavey (Grandson to Anton Lavey) from time to time. Once a passenger in my car we were listening to King Diamond, he had a strange look on his face and when I asked if he like the 'King' he matter-of-factly said, 'He used to date my Mom.'

jen @ hell razor said...

King Diamond has the most awesome metal voice. My husband dressed up as King Diamond for Halloween 2 yrs ago:

We are so excited to hear he has a new record contract!

Meredith Carey said...

what i love about king diamond is that he is such a great badass that even nerds like Weezer throw tribute to him in videos. Also, his serious intelligence when people try to come at him about his religious (or lack there of) beliefs.

Brunofsky said...

All hail the all might King! yeeeeeeEEAAAAAAAAAA!

:: smo :: said...

this video!! haha amazing! metalcakes is a family affair!