Sunday, August 18, 2013

We're Not Gonna Bake It

I don't know about you, but I hate summer. I hate being gross and sweaty. I hate tourists invading my commute. I hate eating outside. I hate bug bites, and I hate being pressured to submerge myself into natural bodies of water. Gross. But worst of all, the heat of summer makes my 2 very favorite things practically unbearable: Baking and Rock & Roll shows!
My perfect summer soundtrack is not a brainless, fluffy, upbeat, pop song. I need something far more rebellious and angry to sum up my feelings about this lousy season. Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It," is just that anthem.

Twisted Sister formed in the suburbs of New York, in 1976.  Their look was inspired by the New York Dolls. Their motto was "Look like women, speak like men, and play like motherfuckers." They actively fought against sexism and censorship.
In 1985, lead singer Dee Snider testified alongside Frank Zappa and John Denver at a senate hearing against the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center).
Founded by Tipper Gore and the "Washington Wives," the PMRC set out to label all records with ratings in regard to lyrical content. Apparently the PMRC thinks that the government should be in charge of telling kids what they can and cannot listen to, instead of parents taking an active role in supervising their children. Their goal was to protect young Americans from sex, masturbation, violence, and religions other than Christianity, by censoring music. What a complete waste of time. There are much bigger problems in this country than kids listening to rock and roll. Not everyone does whatever their favorite rock star tells them to do.
In the end, the "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" label was born. Record companies voluntarily place these on specific albums of their choice. Of course the sticker seems to actually have the reverse effect, and makes kids want to listen to these records even more.

Here's the footage of the entire hearing (I'd also like to add that I do not agree with Wordswithmeaning's title sequence referring to the PMRC as "Super Bitches," but this was the only footage I could find of the complete hearing):

Nowadays, maybe "We're Not Gonna Take It" has been a bit overused and exploited by politicians and Betty White, but Twisted Sister is still an important band that definitely deserves cake.

There are plenty of ways to rebel against summer's heat, and still make dessert. No-bake recipes are the answer! To me, Twisted Sister's loud and crazy drag outfits just scream "Banana Split!!"...and maybe a little Cheesecake. So these are No-Bake Banana Split Cheesecake cupcakes.
This recipe is super easy. I don't normally "phone it in" with Cool Whip, but it's name and location in the freezer aisle, reinforce what I'm going for with this whole post. 

This recipe goes out to all my angry, sweaty, brothers and sisters that are sick of summer, and overreaching authority. Stay hungry.

Twisted Sister
We're Not Gonna Bake It

Makes 24

 Metal Constituents:

For the Crust:
  • 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, melted
For the Cheesecake Layer:
  • 12 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
  • ¼ cup granulated sugar
  • 1 tub (8oz) Cool Whip, thawed
For Toppings:
  • 3 to 4 bananas, thinly sliced
  • 1 (20oz) can crushed pineapple, drained
  • 16 ounces strawberries, hulled and thinly sliced
  • 1 tub (8oz) Cool Whip, thawed
  • ½ cup walnuts, chopped
  • Chocolate syrup
  • Maraschino cherries
  • Rainbow Sprinkles

Merciless Instructions: 

  1. Line 2 cupcake tins with baking cups, and set aside.
  2. In a medium bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs and melted butter, stirring until all of the crumbs are evenly moistened.
  3. Place about 2 teaspoons of crumbs into the bottom of each baking cup, and press into an even layer using the back of a small spoon or the bottom of a small glass.
  4. Put prepared baking cups into the fridge while you make the next layer.
  5. In the bowl of an electric mixer, mix together cream cheese and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
  6. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the Cool Whip until thoroughly combined.
  7. Spread a heaping Tablespoon-full of the cream cheese mixture on top of the graham cracker crust.
  8. Arrange 3 banana slices in a single layer on top of the cream cheese filling
  9. Top with an even layer of the crushed pineapple, and then about 3 slices of strawberries.
  10. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, or overnight. You have to chill these in the pan, or they won't maintain their shape.
  11. Once they're done chilling, use a pastry bag or a frosting gun, and pipe more Cool Whip on top of each cheesecake. 
  12. Sprinkle with the chopped walnuts, drizzle with chocolate syrup, then top with maraschino cherries and lots of rainbow sprinkles.
  13. We're not gonna bake it. NO! We ain't gonna bake it!!

Here's the classic video for "We're Not Gonna Take It." Enjoy!

I also really like "You Can't Stop Rock And Roll," so here's that video too:

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