Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Cupcakes of the Tyrants

Zürich, Switzerland has been ranked as having the highest quality of life in the world. I'm pretty sure this is due to the fact that it's the hometown of legendary black metal band,Celtic Frost.
Their first album, Morbid Tales (1984) and the following Ep, Emperor's Return (1985) are their crowning achievements. I don't know about you, but I never get tired of listening to Tom Warrior growl about civilizations crumbling into decay. Brutal.

To honor Celtic Frost, and their contribution to the Swiss standard of living, I give you:

Celtic Frost: Cupcakes of the Tyrants



Metal Constituents:
  • 4 Tablespoons butter
  • 3oz milk chocolate, broken into pieces
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1 packet Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Mix
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1 egg, slightly beaten
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla

For the Frosting:
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 egg whites
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 3/4 cup corn syrup
  • 1 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
  • mini chocolate chips
Merciless Instructions:
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
  2. Prepare a cupcake tin with baking cups
  3. Put the butter and milk chocolate pieces together in a microwave-safe bowl, and nuke on high for 30 seconds.
  4. Stir gently and nuke for another 30 seconds, or until they mix together into a smooth paste when stirred
  5. In a large mixing bowl, mix the flour, sugar, cocoa, Swiss Miss, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together.
  6. In another bowl, mix the milk, beaten egg, sour cream, and vanilla together
  7. Add the butter chocolate mixture, and wet ingredients to the dry ingredients all at once
  8. Beat until well combined
  9. Fill baking cups about 2/3 full and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean
  10. Allow cakes to cool in the pan for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
  11. To make the frosting: Add salt to egg whites, and beat with an electric mixer until soft peaks form
  12. Gradually add sugar 1 Tablespoon at a time, beating until smooth and glossy
  13. Slowly add corn syrup, beating until firm peaks form
  14. Add vanilla
  15. Spread onto completely cooled cakes, and sprinkle with mini chocolate chips
  16. Nihil Verum Nisi Mors.
Here is some classic footage of Celtic Frost playing "Circle of the Tyrants." Enjoy!

3 comments:

The Fancy Lady said...

These look fu@cking delicious excuse my french lol. I see a hundreds beautiful cupcakes online all the time but not only are these cute but they make me actually want to eat them!

Xynobia said...

I am a high school art teacher...as a reward for my homeroom class, I made a batch of these for them to eat tomorrow. I'll let you know what the kids think, but right now, I have a feeling they will find them simply irresistable! Also, it took me exactly the running time of Morbid Tales (Deluxe Edition) to make the batter and frosting mix on your recipe! Awesome.

P.S. I can't help but feel you missed an awesome opportunity to use the term 'Celtic Frosted Cupcakes' here... ;)

Porkloins said...

Xynobia - AWESOME!!
I can't believe it took you the EXACT running time of Morbid Tales!! That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.

Everyone says "Celtic Frosting Celtic Frosting!" I tried to go with something a little bit more unique. I hope you're not too disappointed with the name!

I hope your students love them!
Kathy